My buddy Randy Peterman (aka Randy-pants) has been “pord-casting” for a little while now. For the uninitiated, pod-casting is the geek term for putting sound files (such as music or recordings of your cat passing a hair ball) on to the internet for all to enjoy. The technology was originally engineered for folks to download music libraries on to their iPod MP3 players, but has grown into a huge waste of time for millions of people… kind of like blogging.

To be honest it’s a dad-blamed miracle I haven’t started this myself considering that my favorite toy growing up was a fisher price tape recorder which I would use to record and then listen to myself doing, well, just about anything. Still, I just can’t think that I would have much to share that the world would be interested in hearing. Then again, I felt the same way about blogging at one point. My other excuse is that I don’t have the equipment to produce a pod-cast, meaning a microphone.

So anywhoo, I know that pod-casting is the next big thing and it’s probably just a matter of time before I take up the mike. As a sign of the impending pod-splosion, my favorite web-comic, PvP, as started a story arc about pod-casting which you can see here.

Resistance is futile! Cast thy pod upon the net!

When I updated my blog software a few days ago, I made a back-up of the database. In so doing, I found a database table that I had forgotten about. It contains a long list of “Conversation Enhancements”. I’ve posted a few of these linguistic paragons in the past, but I hope to do so more often.

Just as a reminder, I post these gems as a public service so that you might put them to use in your daily repartee. Think of them as the sprinkles upon the donut of your vocabulary; the gold glitter upon the finger-painting that is your communiqué; the whoopee cushions that… well, you get the idea.

He’s a vacuum in the universe of clue.

I just upgraded my blog software to the latest version, WordPress 1.5. It may take me a bit to get the layout and such back up to snuff. You’re visit is important to us. Then next available css file will be with you shortly.

If you will recall, last year I posted about the impending release of the new Dukes of Hazard movie. Due to the relentless march of time, they movie is almost here and, from the movie trailer I can see that my prediction of “the most sucktacular movie of all time” seems to be safe. Every scene in the trailer that includes Jessica Simpson’s Daisy is full of raunchy double-entendre that I’m quite sure Simpson herself did not really understand. And there are several clips in which “Stifler” and Knoxville, playing the Duke boys, seem to have left the set of the Dukes of Hazard and stumbled onto the set of American Pie 4.

Now, I have to confess something here. It’s not easy for me to admit, being a hard core geek, but when I was a young niblet, I was a huge Dukes fan. As I gained wisdom with age, I learned that “red neck” is not a desirable title and shed almost all vestiges of the lifestyle… almost. I’m still a NASCAR fan and have a favorite driver, even though I can’t help but make fun of the ridiculous southern accent that is the language of NASCAR.

I do still have some respect for the original TV series and I take it seriously when one of the original cast members cuts loose on the Hollywood version. Ben Jones played the lovable Cooter on the TV series (and was later elected to Congress… wow). He now runs a Dukes of Hazard museum and is the most outspoken of the original cast. He posted a news item on his web site concerning the new movie and I think it needs to be shared. You can read the entire post here.

The folks who love our show have kept it alive and well, despite the lack of respect it has been shown by “Hollywood” … The “Dukes” movie is a sleazy insult to all of us who have cared about the “Dukes of Hazzard” … Ours is a classic family show with positive values, great action, wonderful slapstick comedy, mighty fine country music, and a very gifted cast who had great chemistry … I haven’t seen the film, but I have read the script, I’ve talked to a lot of people who worked on the set, and I’ve seen the raunchy t.v. commercial. Frankly, I think the whole project shows an arrogant disrespect for our show, for our cast, for America’s families, and for the sensibilities of the heartland of our country. Unless they clean it up before the August 5th release date I would strongly recommend that true blue Dukes fans hold their noses and pass this one up. And whatever you do, don’t take any youngsters to see it. As plain as I can put it, the only thing this movie shares with our show is the title.

So there you have it. Cooter says, “No!” and I am inclined to agree.

I have found that the more I work with youth, the more I find myself using more and more obscure references to “curse” words. (And apparently I use the word “more” more and more as well.) I caught this fine example in today’s Dilbert:

Monkey Hurlage

Niiiice.

Another great source for alternative expletives is the movie “Elf” (which I watched last night), especially if you check out the DVD extras and get to see all of Will Ferrell’s ad-libbing. (On a side note, I love “Elf” and give it four grins. I feel that this is Will Ferrell’s best (and cleanest) movie yet.)