Is it any wonder why people like me despise advertising? It completely insults my intelligence. Now, it’s one thing to entertain. I get a huge laugh out of those employment commercials where the guy works in an office full of chimps. That’s fun. But it’s another thing entirely to expect me to believe nine out of ten doctors agree on anything. And if you know anyone who actually believes drinking a particular brand of beer will attract super models please do the gene pool a favor and run them over with your SUV.

Internet advertising is even more aggravating than ads on TV. (Don’t even get me started on pop-up ads.) Keyword based advertising is supposed to connect ads with the people interested in them. But what it really does is show just how stupid advertisers think the people are.

Case in point, I was reading an article about the mold problem along the flooded gulf coast. The keyword ad engine saw “mold” on the page and chose to display this ad for mold test kits. Now click on the thumbnail and see if your intelligence is not insulted.

The following link is rated R for foul language. I don’t generally post such gratuitous linguistic crimes, but this one is worth it.

Penn and Teller have a show called… well… Bull[Poop], on which they expose the lies behind some of our societies odd behaviors. They’ve covered topics from alien abduction to recycling programs. Penn uses lots of foul language, but makes very valid points (although I don’t agree with every topic they’ve covered).

They did a scathing expose on PETA which you can view here. (This is the rated R link I talked about.)

If you’d rather protect your virgin ears, I’ll sum up the finer points of the video.

Simply put, PETA thinks animals are more valuable than people.

• They’ve run campaigns comparing chicken and beef processing to the Holocaust. So chickens are at least as valuable as Jews.
• They espouse and financially support terrorist who firebomb medical facilities that use lab animals for testing. So mice are more valuable that the millions of humans who benefit from modern medicine.
• They insist on “total animal liberation” including the abolition of pet ownership, which they call “slavery”. So gerbils deserve the same rights as African Americans.

What this video does best is expose the wild hypocrisy of the militant animal rights movement.

• The vast majority of PETA’s contributions come from animal lovers who own pets. PETA would make it illegal to own pets.
• PETA holds protests at animal shelters where sick, injured, and stray animals are euthanized. PETA’s own shelters euthanize two thirds of the animals they receive.
• PETA would outlaw medical testing on animals and the use of animals to produce medicine. The vice president of PETA is a diabetic who uses insulin that was developed through animal testing (on dogs) and was produced with the use of animals (probably pigs).

Ahh, I love the smell of bacon in the morning. That and the sound of “activists” eating their own words.

Through a link of a link of a link, I came across an article written back in 2000 by the founder and former director of Greenpeace, Dr. Patrick Moore. Moore does a great job debunking the current enviro-nazi rhetoric and defacing 21st century environmentalist movement.

I now look at the mainstream environmental movement that I loved and can barely recognize it. Why? Because it has abandoned science to follow agendas that have little to do with saving the earth.
…
We have an environmental movement that is run by people who want to fight - not to win.

Please read the complete article here.

(via TenNapel)

Let’s call this a “toofer”. The title qualifies as a Conversation Enhancement, as it is an opprobrious epithet for French people. Oooh… There’s another Conversation Enhancement! (Opprobrious epithet means rude put-down. Does that make this a “threefer”?)

And now, on top of all that, I offer this week’s WBQotW.

For the next few weeks, I will be posting quotes from my wife’s favorite movie (and the one chick-flick I really get a kick out of), French Kiss. Kevin Kline, who is very American, plays the best creepy French guy I’ve ever seen on film. From this film alone, I learned how to do a great French accent. Here he questions the logic of Meg Ryan’s character’s fear of flying. (Please read with your best creepy French guy voice.)

What do you think, the plane is going to crash and we are all on the ground in a thousand pieces dead? I promise you, if it happens, you won’t feel a thing.

This week’s WBQotW comes from a very odd source. The film version of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was released on DVD this weekend (much recommended). While doing some internet investigation, I came across the official web site of Douglas Adams, the creator of HHGttG. There are a few “rare” pieces of Adam’s work posted there, short stories and such. One of them is “The Private Live of Genghis Khan”, a rather coarse bit of literature that ends with an alien named Wowbagger brow-beating the great Khan with some unusual put-downs. One of them was so odd, I had to immortalize it on my white board.

You are a very tiny piece of turd. Thank you.