This week’s white board quip has me thinking about food and fat.

That’s the problem with sweatpants.

I don’t even know where I heard that one. (But isn’t it just a perfect fit for the white board?!) As soon as I saw it in my queue, though, I knew it was the right quip for this week because I feel very much like switching to sweat pants for my office attire.

Despite my insistence that holiday food “doesn’t count,” my weight has been steadily increasing. I’ve almost completely erased my Weight Watchers success from a couple of years ago. It looks like I’ll be punishing myself with another diet… after the holidays, of course.

People get upset over the dumbest things. I can’t comprehend how people can be so sensitive. I know I get it from my dad, who has about as much tact as a gorilla at a tea party. Oh, the stories I could tell.

My favorite bumper sticker (sadly it was on the truck I used to own and I haven’t found a replacement) said, in big bold letters, “GET OVER IT.”

So, I hope you’ll have proper context when I say the people who’s panties are wadded over the new Burger King “Whopper Virgins” ad campaign are idiots.

I really love the concept. A whopper and a big mac, side-by-side taste test, offered to people from different cultures that have never had (and sometimes never heard of) a hamburger.

I’ve always thought that food is the most fascinating aspect of culture. Unlike politics, religion, and economics, you can ask a person from a different culture about the food and be sure you’ll never offend them. In fact, I’ve found that they usually enjoy talking about it.

Every time I have a chance to talk to someone from outside the Unites States, I ask them what they think of American food and what they miss about food back home. Everyone eats and everyone has things they like and don’t like to eat. It’s universal and, at least to me, very interesting.

Now, as for the controversy, Hot Air has a post that sums it up. Rather than rehash it here, I’ll just link to it.

Clicky clicky.

I had great success with Weight Watchers last winter. I lost 30 pounds in a few months. But I last Spring I quit counting my points thinking I could just live off what I learned and eat better. It didn’t work very well. After hitting 225, I plateaued and have slowly gained back about five pounds.

Now, I have renewed interest in counting my points. I was trying to remember how many points I was allowed. I finally found a formula. Yeah, I know. Weight Watchers formulas are patented and I’m probably going to jail for life for publishing it. Then again, I like to live dangerously.

The food-point-value formula is widely available on the ‘net along with oodles of sites that offer pages and pages of food value tables. I’ve only found one site with the point allowance formula. So, I’m linking to that page and republishing it here to help folks like me have more success when they google it.

Based on a series of questions, you add up points to get your daily allowed point total. And don’t forget, no matter what your daily allowance is, everyone is allowed 35 “flex” points per week. You could look at this as an extra 5 points per day, but it’s better to take this weekly so you can have lighter days and heavier days throughout the week.

1. Gender: Female (2) (Add 10 points if you’re nursing), Male (8)
2. Age: 17-26 (4), 27-37 (3), 38-47 (2), 48-58 (1), over 58 (0)
3. Weight: Add the first two digits of your weight in pounds (ex. 199 lbs. = 19 points)
4. Height: Under 5′1″ (0), 5′1″-5′10″ (1), Over 5′10″ (2)
5. Activity Level: How do you spend your day? Mostly Sitting (0), Occasionally Sitting (2), Mostly Walking/Standing (4), Physical Labor (6)

For me, it looks like this:

So now I can start counting again and we’ll see if I can get down to 200 by Thanksgiving. That gives me three months to drop about 30 pounds. I think I can I think I can I think I can…

While I’m no longer paying for WeightWatchers, I’m still employing what I learned. I’m not “on a diet” but rather I have “changed my diet.” Last week I broke the 230 (227.8) mark for the first time in seven years. Then I got cocky and this week I’m back on the wrong side of that mark by a quarter pound.

This weekend the weather in DFW was gorgeous and Tammy and I busted out the bicycles. We stuck to pavement, but still got a great “break-in” workout of 15 miles (followed by some sadistic weight lifting).

This leads me to this week’s white board quip on dieting.

I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.
- Steven Wright

An important lesson learned from WeightWatchers has been that little things add up. You can shave a good amount of calories from your normal diet by making small changes. Croutons, for example. Croutons add a couple of points to your salad. Are they really that important to the enjoyment level of your meal? If you can forgo the croutons, you’ve got two more points you can spend on something more enjoyable, like fresh fruit or a hot fudge sundae. (What?!)

Speaking of croutons, here’s this week’s white board quip.

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
- George Carlin